Last week was all in all a pretty good week. The Tour of California cycling race was on so I got to see my favorite sport and the best of the best race, Lance Armstrong was there and did awesome, our Utah boy Dave Zabriskie took 2nd, Levi Leipheimer, George Hincapie, Christian Vandevelde, Floyd Landis, Tyler Hamilton to name a few. If you don't recognize anyone other than Lance I will forgive you but really you are missing out on a very exciting and grueling sport. One of the great benefits is that I don't have cable in my house but in the workout room we do. So each day I would workout for and hour or longer to watch it and it felt wonderful. Those of you who know me well know that I truly love this sport and think these men are amazing and Lance Armstrong is one of my hero's. Also Monday Rich and I went to the DI to see if they had any type of DVD holder. We have two big boxes full and I am getting tiered of having to look through the box to find a movie. Well we did not have any luck with the holders but Rich suggested that we look at the books he wanted to find some about camping type stuff. I looked through and found the best surprise ever, to me anyway, I found a copy of Lance Armstrong's book "It's not about the Bike" which is his story with cancer and the Tour De France. I have wanted this book for a really long time and it was only a dollar. It is an AWESOME book! I read it in two days so it was not long enough but it made me like the man even more.
I have been pondering something for a couple months now that I feel passionate about and I have tried to find a way to not sound so down and upset about the outcome. Well I have not found a way to not be upset because I am quite bummed that something is not going to happen. I will start at the beginning so as not to confuse you.
For as long as I can remember I have wanted to go to Paris. I don't know what exactly it is that draws me to want to be there but every time I see the Eiffel Tower or the Arc de Triomphe I have a burning desire to see it in person. I remember as a girl I wanted to go there so bad. I had a dream that one day I would climb the Eiffel tower and look at the beautiful city. It was a young girls dream nothing was ever put in place that would get me to that location. I told my parents that I wanted to go there and couldn't figure out why we didn't just get in the car and go. Like I said I was young and the whole ocean between us didn't mean much on account of my dream.
As I got older and in Junior high I had a wish of somehow going to France. I took French class and though that maybe if I wished enough when the time came I would be called on a mission to France. My best friend years later got called there and I was SO jealous of him. I wished to go so much. I had a better understanding and knew that a dream would only take me so far and it needed a helping hand to have any outcome. When I go to the age of going on a mission I never even attempted to fill out the paperwork. I had other things going like getting married.
After I got married I still had a wish to go and started to hope that somehow it would happen. I even looked online for some deals to go to France and one day found one that was one $100 more than going to Utah to see my family. I knew I would got to Utah but it was fun to look. I made a promise to myself and my then husband that we would one day go. It was during this time that I found a love of cycling and each July would stay glued to the TV when the Tour de France was on. I would scream and yell at the exciting parts and pace back and forth at the tense times. I fell in love with Lance Armstrong and his amazing story, to watch him ride was better than poetry. I got a BAD case of Cyclingitis and it has had a dang good hold on me since the first tour I watched. I got my own bike and I can't begin to explain the thrill it is to ride along an open road with the wind in your face and the fresh air filling your lungs. I found so many wonderful times riding those North Carolina roads. I would never say that I am a good cyclist although I have been told by one person that I am fast so that is the only feedback I will ever need. I will be 70 years old telling my grandchildren that I was fast on a bike. I don't even care if that statement holds no merit I am going to continue to tell myself I am fast. I still hoped that I would be able to go to France and now see the Tour de France for myself in person. Lance retired in 2005 and this made me really sad that I would never see him ride in the Tour but it still held the same grip on my desire.
Then something happened that I had never dreamed or wished or hope for. I found myself coming back to Utah alone and getting a divorce. It was not something that you plan for and it changed me as a person. I spent many hours on my bike when it got warm after that trying to figure out what to do. I have always found stress relief in working out and those first few months I was at the gym every night. I lost some weight and slowly gained some confidence bcak. As soon as the weather turned warm I was on my bike and would be gone for hours. July came and I started to watch the Tour de France and fell in even more love with it. I can't imagine being on a bike for 6+ hours a day riding over a hundred miles once let alone for three weeks. I hoped I would someday see this for myself. In August I went to watch the Tour of Utah 2006 and volunteered to help even. This was an awesome experience and by the time it was over I had a goal to go to The Tour de France in 2009. This gave me three years to save up money and I didn't care who came with me I was going. I started to put $50 a paycheck in an account and every spare dollar would go into it as well like birthday money or tax returns. I worked hard to build up this fund and got more excited to see it grow. I had a goal and a plan and things were working out great.
The one thing I did not account for in my plan was life. I didn't plan on meeting the man of my dreams and falling in love, getting married or any of that stuff. Life got in the way of my goal. After getting married unexpected expenses came up and I had my Paris fund sitting there so we had to use a lot of that money. It was hard and I would get really sad when I saw anything come out of the account but I knew that it needed to be done. My husband and relationship where more important than a Paris goal.
In October I would find my heart breaking once again. Not in the normal way I found out that Lance Armstrong was coming out of retirement and was planning to rider in the Tour De France in 2009. The same time that my goal would put my on the Champs-Elysées the last day of the tour and at the summit of one of the great peaks screaming my lungs out as the peleton went by. My hero would be riding once again in this epic race and I would again be watching it from home because life got in the way of my goal. I would be lying to say that I am ok with this. I have cried my fair share of tears over the whole matter. Who would have known that in 2006 when I set my goal to be at in France to watch the tour the greatest man to ever straddle a bike would be ridding in it. It still makes my heart ache to think about. My husband is wonderful and in seeing me distraught offered to get a second job just so I could go to the Tour De France in 2009 possibly the last time Lance will ever ride. Of course I refused because our time together is more important to me than any goal I have that would take me away from him for a month.
I would never change my life. I have the best husband in the world who loves me and I am completly and hopelessly in love with him. I have a good home and a fun puppy. I still have a dream and a hope of going to Paris to see the Tour and one day I will go even if it kills me I will make it there. I guess there are some things that are more important than a goal but even if life gets in the way NEVER let it stop your dreams. Make them a goal just plan to be flexiblie when you get to have more than you could ever possibly hope to have, in my case the perfect husband for me.
I still can't say that I am ok with this turn of events. It pains me to know that I should have been there but the bitterness doesn't sting quite as much and hopefully by the end of the race I will just be happy to have seen Lance ride again on TV. Rich has promised me that he will take me to The Tour of California next year so I can see all the big guys on our home turf I just hope and pray that Lance has it in him to be there next year too.
